A Shout-out to the Moms of Westeros

Okay y’alls. Game of Thrones is starting on the 14th, and soon will be put to rest the question of who sits on the goddamn Iron Throne. Totally important, but it’s not a job I would want to have! You know what else I would not want to be in Westeros? A mom.

Every time I get cranky about dragging a stroller up the stairs with a 25+ pound baby, I need to remind myself that at least I did not have to carry a baby across the vast North right after giving birth to him. Every time I think about my 30 hour labor, I remind myself to be grateful that I didn’t get eaten by dogs afterwards, with my newborn in my arms. And I know I might make mistakes along the way, but I know I’ll never burn my dear sweet child alive at the stake.

Anyway, let’s talk about Gilly and her epic journey with her little Sam in her arms. Let’s remember that she started said journey recently after she gave birth–if not right after–because her father, who is also the child’s father, was going to sacrifice him to the White Walkers. When I first watched these episodes of Sam, Gilly and Little Sam making their way to the Wall, I didn’t give much thought the feasibility of this happening. If I did have I thought, it was probably, “Gee, I bet she’s tired.”

Now that I’ve had a child, I know that Gilly is the unsung hero of Game of Thrones, and I’m also reminded that a woman did not write the script. I don’t think a woman would have ever put Gilly through that shit. I can’t remember when I started walking normally after giving birth. Everything down there was swollen. It was hard to sit, and walking was awkward and exhausting (Oh wait! Now it makes sense! It was more comfortable for Gilly to walk endlessly than to sit on her swollen lady parts).

Also, how the heck did she deal with all the blood? I know a lot of mothers and I read a lot about the birthing process. I knew there would be a lot of blood during labor and blood after, but it wasn’t until I visited my friend who had a baby that it started sinking in that maybe I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. I was six or seven months pregnant at the time. We were hanging out in her daughter’s room and she begin sifting through something stashed in her closest.

“Before you leave let me give you this,” she said as she handed me a bunch of maternity pads. I had never held a maternity pad. They were like pillows, soft and plush enough to absorb all the blood at the Red Wedding. Just kidding. They weren’t that big.

“You are gonna need A LOT of them.” She told me that they have packs of them at the hospital, as well as some weird mesh underwear that you’re supposed to stuff them in to hold them in place, since they didn’t come with adhesive. “Stock up on that shit because you will never see so much blood in your life.”

I dutifully grabbed as many packs as possible, and then Jer-bear’s dad ordered a whole box of them from some medical supply company, and they only sold them by the box.  I scoffed when the box arrived. Ha. I won’t need all of these. I started wondering where I could donate the extras.

It turned out there were no extras. They ended up being useful as nursing pads since my breasts leaked a river of milk overnight. I was a mess of blood and milk. And let’s not get started with Boo Boo’s diapers. I felt like we were always changing diapers, because he would void his bowels every other time he nursed, which was a lot!

Speaking of nursing, I thought something was wrong with me the day after I gave birth and Boo Boo was nursing and suddenly there was a gush of blood out of me. It looked like I had given birth again. Apparently the oxytocin that is released during nursing causes your uterus to contract and expel a lot of blood.

So anyway, what I’m getting at is how the heck did Gilly do it? I did not see her dress soaked in blood or milk. Where did all the milk and blood go? And what about Little Sam’s diapers? I did not see her take her diaper bag or bindle with her when she ran away from home, so what did she do?  And what if Little Sam got a rash from not having his diaper changed? I guess she could have squirted breast milk on it–I heard that works, but what did she use to wipe his ass? Leaves? I read somewhere that Native Americans used moss to line their diapers, and when the moss was soiled, they tossed it out and used fresh moss. Sounds pretty efficient and like something Gilly could have done, but we never see it happen! I know that for storytelling purposes it was more important to show other, more compelling facets of Sam, Gilly and Little Sam’s journey instead of the reality of caring for a newborn whilst on the lam in the wilderness, but you know, someday I would like for that reality to be shown onscreen.

You know what other reality I would like to see someday? The reality of NOT riding a horse the day after you give birth, like Khaleesi did. Especially if your stillborn had claws. Yes, there’s a lot of fantasy in GOT but one of the biggest fantasies by far is the one in which a woman straddles a freaking horse after having a baby. And I don’t think constantly making women who give birth endure insane things is a plot device to show how strong they are. I love all the strong females in GOT, but I think the grueling plots of these woman has more to do with the fact that David Benioff and Dan Weiss, who are both husbands and fathers, did not consult with their wives a bit more about the feasibility of certain undertakings that these characters are made to endure.

At the same time, I know people don’t watch Game of Thrones because of it’s so good at showing us the quotidian mess of the postpartum experience. I understand that perhaps there isn’t just quite enough time in the day to film such things when you have to film entire families getting murdered, heroes getting back-stabbed and military invasions on Kings Landing. But I do hope that someone some day will decide to show an accurate depiction of such things if they’re going to force people like Gilly into a freezing hike with a newborn.

Anyway, I’m interested to see what happens to Gilly and co. in the last season. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gilly and Little Sam live to hear the song of spring (less sure about Sam). In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised it Gilly said “Bring it,” to Winter, because after all, if you can survive the trek to the Wall with your newborn the day after you give birth, I feel like you can handle anything.